Kambakkht Ishq is a piece of Krap, even with the extra ‘K’ in its name!

As I stepped into the theatre, I did remind myself that it is a Kareena Kapoor movie. So I didn’t have any great expectations of this big budget, super-hyped movie. But that’s the irony- this gibberish in the name of a movie doesn’t even meet the minimal expectations that the masses had! Once again, Bollywood succeeds in wasting its resources. Allow me to analyze the movie on various parameters, one worse than the next:-
The Cast: - if all other professions have a retirement age, Bollywood should be no exception. Akshay Kumar is old. Period. You cannot take a 40-something and fool the audience into believing that he is a handsome, young, lad. One, because he is not handsome, two, because he ain’t young and thirdly because he is not a lad! So it’s more like haggard, old, uncle Akshay running around the sets doing a bunch of stunts which in all probability some stuntman has performed for him. The Kapoor gal on the other hand really needs to break image. She clearly still hasn’t grown out of her ‘Pooh’ image of K3G. Can she ever go beyond the snobby, angry, young woman? I think NOT!
The script: - Story? What story? School level dramatics had better stories! It’s amazing how Bollywood directors take a trivial, short, tale and convert it into a 3 hour long epic complete with melodrama, abusive dialogues, unnecessary dialogues and a few out of the blue characters (namely Javed Jaffry & Kirron Kher). In one of the scenes which was a typical Bollywood cliché with a bunch of goons chasing the damsel in distress, (Kareena) shrieking for “HELP”, I too found myself yelling, “HELP! Somebody stop the movie before the crowd leaves the theatre!” Well, guess what? They didn’t stop the movie and the crowd started strolling towards the exit in deep disgust and disappointment, even before the end was remotely close!
The direction: - Now this is where a major part of the blame goes to. There have been instances of movies with story lines that are just plain dumb but they still count as good entertainment, all thanks to the direction (take Farah Khan movies for example). But c’mon, who do you blame for a movie where people just break into a song for no apparent reason or start slapping each other, again, for no apparent reason or throw cakes at each other, abuse one another, sue one another, again, for no apparent reason? Your answer is correct- The director!

So despite all the desperate attempts to attain success, through numerology, publicity stunts, PR, passé Hollywood stars etc, the movie is a dud. Maybe I would recommend it for Kareena’s super stylish clothes and 5-inch heels or for the miniscule bit of comedy with the musical watch but despite that, summing it up, Kambakkht Ishq is a piece of ‘K’rap, even with the extra ‘K’ in its name!